CHAPTER 5: "Marry & Bury"

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Ecclesiastes 3:4

     The previous chapter in my blog recounted multiple near death experiences for me. Before we move on to more uplifting and fun stories to tell for awhile, I have to briefly touch on death once again. But there is a happier side to this chapter, too, involving the joining in matrimony of three couples by none other than yours truly.

     Over the past thirty-two years I have delivered ten eulogies, seven in-person and three I recorded for a memorial because I was out-of-state and couldn't make it back for the service. This all started in November 1993 when my good friend Dave Powers passed away suddenly. Dave was a jovial, caring, and wonderful man who was heavily involved in a youth football league I had coached in for a number of years. He was also the sponsor of an all-star football team that myself and another dear friend Louis Ortiz formed called the Bay Area Raiders and a 1993 celebrity golf tournament I organized in Austin, Texas. And, I did some part-time work for Dave's photography business K-P Photo in League City, Texas.

     A day or two after Dave passed I was over at his house discussing the memorial service arrangements with his family. His best friend Eddie Henson and one of his sisters were going to be speakers at the memorial and were talking about having an additional speaker along with the minister who would preside over the service. Being someone who knew Dave well, and who was blessed with public speaking ability, and no fear of getting up in front of large audiences, I volunteered. The family thought that was a great idea, and so now I have taken on the responsibility of offering up a tribute to a man beloved by everyone who knew him.

     Despite having spoken at hundreds of events, not to mention my years in broadcasting, always done pretty much with ease, I quickly realized this was a speaking engagement that had me nervous, as I wanted to do my friend's life justice, especially for his family. I wanted to convey the kind, joyful spirit of the man, somehow combining some touching moments, but also an abundance of humor, because Dave loved to laugh and make other laugh, too.

     So I began thinking about my own experiences with Dave, and also those that would resonate with others. One thing I knew I had to express, that I felt that almost everyone would recognize and bring a smile to their face, was Dave's endearing habit of shouting “Marlin!” (or any other friend's name who he would happen to run into) that always made you feel special, no matter who you were. And the then I wanted to wrap it up with something appropriate.

     Country music super-group Alabama had just released a single for the holiday season entitled “Angels Among Us”. I felt the song embodied Dave., especially with the lyrics of its chorus:

"Oh I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love
To guide us with the light of love"

      So, that was my close. Dave's memorial was held in a very large auditorium and was packed. I not only was a speaker at the service but also an honorary pallbearer. When it was all over I went and hugged Dave's wife, son and daughter, and his Mom who everyone called MeeMaw. When I got to MeeMaw, we hugged and she said to me with a big smile on her face “Your speech was so good I wanted to stand and applaud, but thought that might not be appropriate under the circumstances”. Yeah, I'm quite certain Dave got a lot of his sense of humor from MeeMaw. It was at that moment that I made the decision that from now on, I would offer my ability to speak to any family or friend who had lost loved ones. If I could use my God-given gift to help others in a time of grief that I would do so. And, except for a few occasions, I have held true to that promise to myself. As difficult as delivering eulogies can be, especially if it is for someone that I also dearly loved, it makes my heart feel good to be able to honor that individual and maybe bring a little peace during a terrible to their loved ones.

     Less than a year later I delivered the eulogy for my wife D'Anna's Uncle Gene. That was followed by my grandmother Nanny, who I adored, my cousin David Kelley who died way too young of a massive heart attack. If you read Chapter 4 of my blog you may remember that he was the guy who  accidentally jabbed a large stick into my mouth and pierced my tonsil. If you wonder how that is even possible go back and read Chapter 4. For David's memorial I quoted lyrics from Jackson Browne's  "For a Dancer",  beautiful song about death that I think is incredibly thought provoking and uplifting.

     Then there were eulogies for my Aunt Zela and Uncle Dub, who I always considered my second Mom and Dad. At Aunt Zela's service after I was done delivering my remarks, my sweet twin nieces Booke and Bailey, after a moment of silence, started applauding which led the rest attending to join in. Needless to say that made me feel good. Those were followed by my sister Gayle's husband George, a really kind soul. I spoke at a wonderful family friend Russ Mertens' memorial. I've often said that if I was an orphan and had no family that I would have wanted Russ and his wife Joan (who I affectionately called “Mom and Dad”), to adopt me. Of course that might have been sort of awkward since I dated both of their daughters, Aundie and Ange!

     I recorded the eulogy for my dear friend “Sweet Lou” Louis Ortiz from the stage of the Calumet Theatre in Michigan's Upper Peninsula where I was Executive Director. My friend and Operations Manager John Snyder recorded for me with another great friend and co-worker Kay Elander offering moral support. I've always been able to keep my emotions in check when handling eulogies with audience, but in this case I was able to let go afterwards. When I was done, I walked off stage right by myself and cried.

     And then there was Marlin III's memorial. I will never have a tougher speaking engagement than that of honoring my son at his funeral service. I will write more about that and my son's life in a later chapter of this blog.

     Since I have become the go-to guy for my family to speak at memorial services when a loved one passes, it led my oldest sister Jan to ask me a question after a family funeral where I spoke. She said to me “Hey, Lindy, since you speak at all the family funerals, who is going to deliver your eulogy?”. To which I responded, “Maybe I'll record a message to play when my time comes saying 'I wish I could be there with all of you, but I had a much more important and pressing engagement'.”

     So now I'll turn ta page to much more happy events. I have performed three wedding ceremonies. This all got started when my sister Jan called me on the phone one afternoon and said “Hey Lindy (she always seems to address me that way) what do you think about performing Dylan (her son and my nephew) and Jill's (Dylan's fiancee) wedding ceremony?'. I responded, “Jan, how can I do that? I'm not ordained or anything”. Well, she had done her research and gave me a website where I could be “ordained”! Ridiculous as it may sound, I go to this website, fill out some information and a few weeks later I get this Certificate of Ministry and some other stuff including a pair of preposterous bumper stickers that I guess were supposed to give me some sort of special privileges! Ridiculous or not I thought, “Ok, I guess that's good enough for me” and I performed the ceremony and signed the marriage license.

     Second wedding I officiated was that of a REV-FM co-worker named Becca and her betrothed, a guy named James (J.T.) Hill, who has become another great friend and is a terrific singer-songwriter/musician. And get this, their wedding was tied into a radio promotion and was broadcast live on the radio! Now there is something I bet virtually none of my fellow broadcasters have ever done; perform a wedding ceremony live on the radio!!

     The third nuptials I performed were for another REV-FM co-worker and close friend Gordon Ames aka Big G and his fiancee Monica. This ceremony was held beneath the giant cross perched on a hill overlooking Kerrville, Texas. It was only me, Big, Monica, and Big G's Mom in attendance, along with a few curious onlookers visiting the prayer garden at this site.

     One more note on the marriage ceremonies I performed...I'm undefeated and batting 1.000! All three couples are still married!! And one more thing, I am still available for memorials or marriages. But, unless you are in my area I would need to have expenses paid in order to be able to travel to your area.

     The story I just told you is just one very small example of what led my to write this autobiographical blog. I have had so many crazy things that I have done and experienced that, after years of thinking about it, I thought it was worth sharing. We have barely scratched the surface of some pretty amazing tales I have to tell. Which leads me to a preview of Chapter 6. If you like celebrity stories then you're in luck, as the next chapter will deal with the dozens of music artists that I've had the opportunity to work with and meet.

     This wild ride is just getting started!