CHAPTER 11: My Other Sons

COACH

Writers:  Casey Michael Beathard & Kenny A. Chesney

Chorus

Verse

Chorus

Bridge

Outro

My Players

l originally had another subject matter planned for this particular chapter of my blog. However, after receiving so many messages of encouragement, support (both emotionally and financially), and love, so far, during my cancer journey, that I felt compelled to write something different and move the previously scheduled entry to next in line.

While all of these supportive messages mean the world to  me, there are some that mean even more, and that would be expressions from former players I coached. Outside of being a father, husband, grandfather, and son, there is no title I've worn more proudly than Coach. And furthermore, outside of my family and a few very close friends, there is nobody I love more than my former players.

I enjoyed 27 years of coaching football, 15 for baseball, and I even coached basketball for a couple of years. The meomries are incredible. While like most coaches I've always enjoyed the competition and strategy, it's the player relationships that ring most true in mind. Being a coach, if you're in it for the right reason, is much like being a parent. The job never ends. When your child id grown, you don't stop being a parent, do you? Of course not! You love them every bit as much and try to be available to them should they need your support or counsel. The same is true being a coach. Once a coach ALWAYS a coach! I rejoice and take pride in their successes, and grieve at their losses and disappointments.

I've beeen blessed to be on the coaching staff of Lancaster (WI) High School for six Wisconsin Football State Championship games, winning five of those. Both our sons , Marlin III and Kellen, were members of State Championship teams. That is priceless as a father to have been able to share that with them, especially as one of their coaches.

But at the end of the day, and as I I get older and am currently battling cancer, it always comes back to the relationships built coaching over the years. And finding out from your players, now grown men with families of their own,  that you had a profound impact on them, teaching them life lessons they can carry with them always and pass on to their own children and grandchildren, That is indeed a great blessing.

So with that in mind, I thought I would share with you a few encouraging messages I have received from former players, and some stories about each of these individuals to go along with it. D'Anna and I have been so blessed to have two amazing sons in Marlin III and Kellen, who we adore, and have always made us so proud, first as boys, and even more so as grown men.  That blessing has been enhanced many times over with my "Other Sons".

These five former players represent hundreds. Thanks guys for the great memories, the lasting friendships, and your continuing respect and love you have demonstrated throughout my life and especially during my current cancer battle. I love each and everyone of you!

Crance Clemons

"We love ya' Coach!  You're an inspiration to more than you know!!  Keep up the spirit and we will keep praying!!!  You got this Coach, just like you had us believing since the first day of practice!!!

Crance Clemons - Sagemont Cowboys/Houston, Texas

I first met Crance Clemons when he was nine years old. I was still coaching youth football at the time and Crance's older brother Landis was on my team. Crance was small, but man was he fast! If he ever broke into the open field as a running back, the other team might as well head to the bench to get some Gatorade because they were NOT catching him! 

One of the key things I believe in being a good coach has nothing to do with X's and O's. It's molding a young players character and work ethic. More than once I have taken a team's best players and made an example out of them in front of the whole team when they didn't do things they were suppose to do. In doing so you bring that player's ego down a bit (which was probably needed) and sent a message to the whole team that if I would take this action with the best players, the other players would be thinkng "Man, if he would with those guys, what will he do to me if I step out of line?!". Crance was one of those kids teetering on the line of  confidence and arrogance. But, I loved his toughness and competitive spirit, and he and I virtually never had a problem. He was ajoy to coach!

The following year Crance was on my team and led our Sagemont Cowboys team to two league championships, winning one while going undefeated. It was no surprise to me that after graduating high school that he received a scholarship to play football at the University of Texas-El Paso (UTEP) as a cornerback, and helped lead the Miners to their only Western Athletic Conference Championship while earning First Team All-Conference honors in the process. He later went to training camp with the Indianapolis Colts and Detroit Lions and had a successful career in the Canadian Football League.

Crance is now a retired professional athlete still residing in El Paso with his beautiful family, including children who also excel at athletics. His lovely wife Alma is a cancer survivor who has also been supportive of me during my cancer journey.

We go back a looong way #34. I love you, Crance, and thank you for being part of my life!

Eric Olsen

"You got this coach! You taught us toughness and grit and how to lead with heart and purpose. All these years later and you’re still showing us how it’s done."

Eric Olsen - Lancaster High School Flying Arrows

Oley, as we all call him, is living proof that as a coach you can discipline a kid and they still will respect and care about you when they know you're doing it for their own good and the team's good, and that they deserved to be reprimanded.

In Oley's case his day of reckoning came during pre-season two-a-days, which just happened to coincide each August with the Grant County Fair, with the fairgrounds visible from our practice field. Lancaster, Wisconsin is a rural community with lots of area farms. Many local kids are involved with showing livestock at the Fair, so each year I would have to ask the team who was showing what and when and work practice schedule around those activities.

One particular afternoon practice I started counting heads and noticed two guys were missing. Another player and Oley. I began to quiz the other players to their whereabouts because it is a STRICT no-no not to show up to practice espcecially witjout a valid excuse and withput notifying a member of the coaching staff. Eventually someone finally let me know that the two players were at the Fair but were NOT showing anything. There would be hell to pay for this transgression and I let the players in attendance know this was never acceptable.

The following day Oley and this other player show up for practice and I confront them in front of the team which led to a confession. After berating each of them for a few minutes for being so selfish and irresponsible, I then ordered each of them to give me 150 up-downs. Now Southwest Wisconsin may not have the sweltering heat that Texas High School Football players are accustomed to, but it can still be pretty hot and humid during August. So while my assistant coaches got practice started I oversaw the two players with their grueling discipline. The other player got to be about fifty, stood up and walked away without a word, and later quit. I also received a call from his Dad. The kid was spoiled and I didn't bat any eye at the call from his Dad or shed a tear for him walking away., an extreme rarity over the course of my long coaching career.

Oley? He did all 150 up-dpwns without a whine or complaint. We both learned a lot about each other that day I think. And now, twenty years later when Oley and I converse over social media, that hot August afternoon about twenty years ago, almost inevitably comes up in conversation, and we laugh.

Oley is now married with a young son and works as an Entrepenur and Consulting Forester at Legacy Forestry Management LLC.  And I just found out he is working on getting his pilot's license! Oley, I love you and am proud of the man you have become! Thank you for having enough faith in me as your coach to understand that I was trying to teach you a lesson in responsibility that I believe you have carried into adulthood.

Ben Pagenkopf

"Hey coach! ... it is so tough for us to see your posts but, I know you are strong and determined to kick cancers ass! I hope every day only gets better for you and your family. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have your guidance and drive that you taught me so many years ago! You have inspired me in so many ways and yes please if you ever make it back this way hit us up! We would love to catch up with you! Best wishes and keep being the tough never give up coach you taught us to be! Take care!"

Ben Pagenkopf - Lancaster Flying Arrows

Ben Pagenkopf had an uncanny knack for blocking punts unlike anything I have ever seen In 27 years of coaching football  Ben was a friend of my son Kellen and was quite the character, the polar opposite of his older brother Jack (who I had also coached) who was really quiet, though I did eventually learn he had a very dry wit he would display once in awhile.

On my Lancaster High School freshman football special teams (for years brilliantly coached by my assistant Brad Moore, a former LHS star player) we virtually always ran "Billy" , signifying we were going for a blocked kick on punt return. We would lineup nine guys on the line of scrimmage with one man back and Bennie standing just behind the line, looking for a gap, usually on either side of the center, to crash in a get a block. Incredibly I think he blocked at least one punt in almost every game that season!

Bennie is a perfect example of my relationship with a player that was extreemly light-hearted, and we were constantly joking with each other. Yet, Bennie always knew when it was time to get serious and work hard.  And  he ALWAYS brought his A game whenever we hit the field.

Bennie now resides in Dodgeville, Wisconsin, a short drive from Lancaster. He owns and operates his own highly successful businss BP Masonry and Tile, and has a wonderful big family with five adorable kids and his beautiful wife Amy. Kellen informed me that Bennie and Amy have been together since like fourth grade! I always tell Bennie that he married outside his paygrade like I did!

Bennie Boy, I love you and am so very proud of you and what you have accomplished professionally. But, even much more so for the husband and father that you are. I hope you're teaching your boys the secret to your punt blocking prowess!

Brian Adams

The freshmen “Dirty Dozen” of 2004 are all behind you Coach. From calling out the “Fab 4” for supposedly being leaders of the group, yet lagging at the end of our warmup laps to telling me to rub some dirt on my elbow and get back out on the field…you always maintained a high standard of effort and toughness. It’s those two characteristics that we learned from you, effort and toughness, which is going to help you overcome this obstacle in your life.

Hope for a speedy recovery! With Love, Big Dawg'"

Brian Adams -Lancaster High School Flying Arrows

In the fall of 2004, I believe I had only sixteen players out for freshman football at Lancaster High School. Not because of disinterest, but because this particular class was a very small class at a small school. Among that tiny number was a sub-group we  called "The Fab 4". The Fab 4 consisted of Tyler Landon, John Stader, Troy Miles, and Brian Adams. Everyone knew that they were the best athletes in the class, including themselves. They would be my starting backfield that season.

I learned early on that the Four were a little full of themselves and entitled. In an early morning two-a-day practice Adams (better known as "Big Dawg") came to me and said "Coach, I think I jammed my finger". I took a look at it and felt it. It didn't take a medical  degree to know it wasnt broken or dislocated. So, I looked at him and said "Rub some dirt on it and get back in there". As far as I am concerned, with football you play "hurt". You don't play "injured".  There is a BIG difference. That is a lesson a lot of young kids getting started in football have to learn, that Mama isn't out here to kiss your boo-boo's.

One afternoon practice very early in the season, I had had enough of the Fab Four's lackadaisical shenanigans. While on a pre-practice lap  the four of them were lagging in the back and yucking it up, while smaller, heavier, and less athletic kids were out in front.  When they got around to me and my coaches for the usual pre-practice talk, I lit into them. I bellowed "The Fab 4, my ass!" (or words to that effect) "Best athletes out here and you're in the back?! You should be ashamed. You think you're leaders because of your athletic ability? No, you're not, you're embarrassing! If you want to be considered leaders you better have your ass at the front of the pack in EVERYTHING we do, otherwise you'll sit the bench, I don't care how good you think you are! There's only one opinion out here that counts and it's mine!". Then I made them run several laps, just the four of them, while the rest of the team started practice. They never were last again and we had a successful winning season. And, as seniors that group help LHS win its sixth Wisconsin State Football Championship.

After high school graduation the "Big Dawg" became an assistant coach at LHS, and for more than a decade has been a school teacher and football coach for the Middleton (Wisconsin) Independent School District.  I love you, "Big Dawg" and proud that you are now leading and teaching a new generation of your own. There is no more noble profession than being a teacher. I have no doubt you are great at it because I know you care about your students and players. Hopefully some of what you may have learned from this old coach has helped you from time to time along the way.

Trae Mezera

"...you have sons that love you that aren't blood. 

Trae Mezera - Lancaster High School Flying Arrows

Trae Mezera was a star runningback on my last team I coached before I retired. I went out the way every coach wants to, undefeated that season. They were a super talented group and were incredibly fun to coach. They carried that success on to the varsity level earning a berth in back-to-back Wisconsin State Football Championships in 2011 and 2012. I was very close to this team.

In September 2009 while Marlin III was near the end of his gut wrenching, heartbreaking but inspirational battle with cancer, the seniors (my former freshmen) of that team approached legendary Head Coach John Hoch about dedicating the season to Marlin. He agreed, and and for the next game and for the remainder of the season, those boys wore our son's #52 on the back of their helmets.

We had moved back to Texas in late 2009 and it is fortunate that we did so we could be close to M3 and family during his struggle. He passed away on September 20, 2012. In November the Flying Arrows were once again in a State Championship game, and I returned to Wisoinsin to be on the sidelines with my former players. Prior to the game I showed up at practice, and there was Trae on crutches, unfortunately out for the season with an injury. I walked up, we hugged and he looked at me and smiled and said, "It's like you never left, Coach". And he was right, as being on that field and in that magnificent small town, I was absolutely at home.

You dont know what chills are until you walk down a tunnel at a huge stadium like Camp Randall, home of the Wisconsin Badgers, following a bunch of young men that you love, wearing your adored late son's football number on their helmets. It brings tears even now remembering the moment. It was breathtaking.

Unfortunately, the Arrows came up short in the game. Afterwards I had players and even Coach Hoch apologizing for not winning the game for Marlin. I remember Kile Jerrett came up to me on the sidelines in tears and hugged me, sad because they lost but more so that they couldn't close the deal for Marlin. 

After Marlin passed I received countless messages of sympathy and support from former players, some of which I will share in a later chapter detailing M3's cancer saga. But there was one that epitomizes the love I felt from these young men, and it was one sent to me by Trae Mezera.  He reminded me that besides having another wonderful son and a two year-old grandson, Marlin Dean Lee IV,  that there were others whose hearts were with me. It all came clear in a short part of a longer Facebook PM he has sent me. It said, ""...you have sons that love you that aren't blood."

Thank you, Trae for that beautiful message. After high school graduation Trae served in the US Marine Corp and is now married with a young child. i am so proud of you, too, Trae,   for your unselfish service to our country, but also the man you have become.

And yes, Trae, I do ! Indeed, I do have  have sons that love me that aren't blood. And much like Mr. Chips in that classic old move I have, maybe not thousands, but I have "...hundreds of them,...and all...boys!" And for that I am eternally grateful.